Hi! It’s me! Digital Dad.
Dear Sam and Sylvie,
This is to inform you that, effective immediately, your mother and I will be parenting asynchronously. This is not a punishment but, rather, an acknowledgment of your maturity and comfort with technology.
As we have learned from your teachers, we no longer need to have an in-person connection to confidently advance your development. The essential lessons of life, and the accountability we seek, are now available to us all through a suite of freely available apps. Regardless of our location (we’ll be on Martha’s Vineyard next week, by the way), you can be certain you are being cared for.